By Cansu Waldron

Christopher Reusch studied environmental protection before completing a Master’s degree in South Africa, where he learned the value of Observation. Afterward, unsure of his path, he began hiking barefoot in 2012 and eventually drew himself out of a depression a decade later, in 2022. Those early drawings felt almost demonic — frightening, intense, and strangely instructive. His first book, The Book of Fear, made that connection unmistakable, as if the work itself was guiding him to understand fear on a deeper level.

Art became his way back to himself, revealing the beauty of honest expression and offering moments of genuine elevation whenever he completed a piece. Letting go of outside judgment was crucial; years of discouraging remarks had held him back, but disabling comments and committing fully to his own voice allowed him to keep creating with intention and clarity.

Through continuous creation, art revealed his creative self and helped him understand how to transform his life into one rooted in stability rather than depression. Art became both mirror and compass, showing him where he stood emotionally and spiritually. Whenever something dulled his mind or pulled him back into self-hatred, he examined it closely, confronted its roots, and either removed it or transformed his relationship to it. In that sense, art wasn’t just a practice but his way forward.

We asked Christopher about his art, creative process, and inspirations.

Can you tell us about your background as a digital artist? How did you get started in this field?

My name is Christopher Reusch and I am 36 years old (born 6.2.1989 in Lüdenscheid, Germany). My background is strangely broad, which is why the curve to art may seem a little strange, but here it goes:

Started studying in 2009 (B.Sc. in Environmental Protection) and finished in 2014. Worked for roughly a year in a call-center to earn money for another study in South Africa. Got the Visa and did a research-degree at the UFS (University of the Freestate, Bloemfontein) from 2016 onward. Finished in 2020. In 2018 I moved back to my home-town to finalise the dissertation for my research-degree. For 18 months I had lived in a little reserve called Mogalakwena River Lodge in the Limpopo province of South Africa. Before that I lived in Bingen (Germany), had my friends, started hiking barefoot in 2012 and carried this habit with me, the following years, as much as I could.

Suddenly I am back in my hometown. 9 years have passed and I know nobody. All I have is one task: Finish your Dissertation and bag the degree. I did. I finished, but something was starting to crumble. I had no friends and I still lived in my childhood room. One day, a friend from the Netherlands calls me and tells me about an event he helped to organise, where a shaman would be present from the Amazonian Rainforest. I took my bike, cycled over the border to the Netherlands and took a train to Amsterdam. Stayed there for some weeks, living at this friends place, who I asked if I could stay there and work something out. Only it didn't work out and he threw me out somewhere in December.

This is the critical moment in my life, where I first started identifying with 'being an artist'. I had already a podcast and a YouTube-Channel and I had planned both ahead (with scheduled uploads) for several weeks. My mind had started planning something and I was tagging along. I remember strolling around in Amsterdam in the December of 2021, I made videos and put some music underneath it and something in my heart just popped. I was overwhelmed by emotions, just running around on the street, looking for somewhere to stay (my friend had given me a deadline of 1 week to find something). Slept one night in the Vondel-Park. Talked to lots of people. Drank ceremonial cacao with my outdoor cooking gear in the park. Nothing worked out. Nobody could take me in. The deadline came and I had nowhere to stay.

My Dad picked me up, and once back home, I fell into the deepest hole I have ever been in. I was lost and dead. Spent Christmas alone in my room. My mother came one day and gave me these old Sketch Pads from school (A2). I remember drinking a really strong coffee with spices, sugar and cream and suddenly I was sitting there, alone in my room, and started drawing things. I was expressing things I felt, I had seen, all kinds of stuff.

Now I had sketches and some skill with the computer. I took pictures of my sketches with my DLSR and then started tracing the lines with GIMP (I solely work with Linux). I also did screen-recordings with music in the background and just went nuts into my art. I also continued going back to nature, as this turned out to be the only thing I could try to represent with all my heart. Well, from this I continued posting, recording, writing and expressing. When I had worked hard for several weeks, I cleaned my entire room and asked my parents to have a look at my creations. They had seen me in a really bad state and now I was showing them artworks and told them that I was trying to establish my self as a creator. My father said "Good Luck!", but the pressure was on me. I kept pushing and that's what I have been doing to this day.

You’ve spoken about drawing yourself out of a depression in 2022. What did those first drawings look or feel like, and how did art become a path back to yourself?

The first drawings felt demonic. They even scared me. My first book was titled "The Book of Fear" however, and so it seemed like it was part of a teaching, to let go of fear, or understand it on some deeper level.

Art was my way back to my self, because it showed me how beautiful it can be to express your self. I was past the point of thinking about what I was doing. The only times I felt elevated, was when I finished an artwork or a project. What had often stopped me from becoming good at what I was doing, were all those snide remarks and comments from people outside of my self. Now I had found something I truly wanted. I wanted to say something to the world and so I continued to create as much as I could, while disabling comments on all my posts...

Art revealed my creative self. From what I learned about creation, through my work, came many realisations about how to also transform my self into the form that could lead a stable existence without depressions. I experimented with diet a lot, until I found one that worked for me. My mind had to be clear and so I started adding bitter herbs to my culinary repertoire. Black Tea with bitter herbs and spices boosts me right into creative mode. Elemental Sulphur helped me to clear my brain-fog. Art showed me where I was, emotionally and spiritually. Reduced sugar to almost never (after having been a complete addict since childhood), because I learned how confused it makes you in the mind [energetic overload]. Eradicated Gluten (mostly). I eat occasionally meat.

Long story short: Art was my way forward and if my mind became drowsy from certain foods, or I got drawn back into hating life, then I looked very closely at what was disturbing me and then started to strategically eradicate it from my life, or began to confront it to see where the root was.

Barefoot hiking since 2012 is such a unique detail — what did taking off your shoes open up for you, both physically and emotionally?

First, it put me under a lot of pressure from the outside, because of an increase in attention. Then it taught me to overcome fear and live in a state of acceptance. It activated some spiritual cleansing in my self, which started throwing out toxic emotions, which I could then funnel into art. It also increased my energy flow and deepened my spiritual connection (grounding). My mind was able to access higher states of consciousness and I could hold consciousness longer than before. Every couple of weeks I make a big tour in bare feet. Roughly 40km. I pass a lake and go swimming.

In terms of emotion: It toughened me up. I was looking for truth, which meant I had to look at everything that kept me trapped. I was addicted to pornography for most of my life and my only way out was to continue watching it, but then to understand it and to feel, why I got hooked on it, but also what I was actually seeing. Is it really something we should engage with? Hiking barefoot steeled me for diving into some of the darker topics of society and it showed me a way to express it in a way that was both light and darkness.

Can you tell us about some of your favorite pieces or a past or upcoming project? What makes them special to you?

"An Alien Reality" (see pictures I sent) is the first "demonic" figure I ever drew and it scared me at first. Now I see that it is actually quite gentle.

"Meditative Flow" was one of the first times I ever drew my self in the future, as an 'optimal character'. I have used this work as a guide to choose towards. Sort of like Pocahontas with the needle of her compass. This image was my goal.

"The Shamans are Back": Looking for guidance in a world that seems to be made to confuse people, isn't exactly easy. Expressing toxic behaviour, that generates an income for some, seems idiotic. This image said what I was feeling. My standpoint: I refuse vaccinations!

"Embracing The Inner Fire" - This to me is the teaching of Wim Hof. Part of my self still wants to understand how Monks sit on a glacier and dry wet sheets on their skin with their body heat. They continue to breathe into their stomach to "heat the oven" so to speak. My first winter in Bare feet was in Norway. I learned that -20°C is manageable, even without shoes. I also go for occasional runs without shoes and it heats me up every time. Soulfire. That's what we need!

Upcoming Project:

I have been working together with 2 other artists for about 2 months. We are developing a series of 9 short-films that are all inter-related by a common theme. More I cannot reveal at this stage.

What is a profound childhood memory?

I remember a reoccurring dream of falling into water. I fell and I sank and every time I thought I would drown, I woke up.

This may be specific to me, because my Zodiac is Aquarius, who knows, but I often felt as though I am living in water. The ether is like an energetic ocean, where thoughts create ripples and where actions can accumulate into tsunamis of attention.

One time, during a longer meditative session, the very same dream came back to me, only this time a voice spoke into my mind and said "It was only a snake that told you you were drowning".

Have there been any surprising or memorable responses to your work?

To this day there have been none, actually. That is certainly one reason, why I continued to keep pushing. Once your heart becomes one with what you feel your purpose is, there is no going back. I was all in. There was nothing else for me to do, but continue.

In that sense you could say that the surprising response is exactly that: No response AT ALL!

The cosmic giggle is certainly real to me...

What is a fun fact about you?

People seem to be wondering how I can hike up incredibly steep hills and continue to shower them with spiritual insights, without having to stop or catch a breath.

Well, I've been recording my self out in nature a lot, talking about all sorts of topics that I found along the way and always flipping the coin.

Good <--> Bad <--> Good <--> Bad --> MIDDLE

What are you excited to try next in your practice?

That I find hard to answer. I often reach points where I am quite astonished to still be alive, after everything I have done. Where are the limits?

From today's perspective I would say that my goal is to continue to practise my art. Every new project is hard work and I have already several things lined up, which I know I have to still do. I had to stay busy and also find places where I could store all those visions that I received.

What I see is, the next thing has already come: Working together in a team with motivated artists that get inspired by nature. Short-films, really scare me [as a creator], which means there is a lot to learn. I guess this should count as excitement!

“Drawing My Way Out”: Christopher Reusch on Demons, Depression, and the Art That Saved Him

By Cansu Waldron

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